December 23

What is Sub Drop & Top Drop? Mood Shifts After Intense Sex Can Happen – SheIs aware of

By fitness

December 23, 2022



Everyone’s just about skilled the highs and lows of a curler coaster – the joy and anticipation you're feeling as you attain the highest and the thrilling rush afterwards. But as you additionally know these emotions dissipate afterwards and also you would possibly even want time to course of what you simply went by means of. For instance, it may need felt actually good within the warmth of the second however now you’re undecided how you're feeling. While not precisely the identical as a curler coaster, the highs and lows of intercourse within the kink group can really feel the identical. This is called sub drop and high drop – “sub” referring to the submissive companion and “top” being the dominant companion.

“‘Top drop’ is a term used after a very high, fast-paced BDSM session, when the dominant partner experiences a major mood shift, such as guilt and/or depression, once the high-high of the experience has settled down,” Megwyn White, Clinical Sexologist and Director of Education at Satisfyer , explains to SheIs aware of. “‘Sub drop’ is a term also used after a very high, fast-paced BDSM session, but when the submissive partner experiences a major mood shift after an intense session.”

White says it’s frequent for each dominant and submissive companions to expertise emotions of guilt and irritability in the course of the after-stages of BDSM and intense temper shifts are “completely normal.”

“This is because the body is on such a high-high during the session, and afterwards, when moods are back to normal, it can feel depressing when that euphoric feeling goes away,” she says. “This is a common feeling for BDSM participants because of how intense some sessions can get, the major high wears away after activity is complete.”

To assist put together for the sub drop and high drop, together with after-care measures, learn on for White’s ideas.

Always talk together with your companion

To greatest stop the sentiments of intense disappointment after a BDSM session, White says it's important to brazenly talk together with your companion. “Sharing how you feel, whether it’s positive or negative, will help both partners feel safer with one another and build their level of trust,” she explains. “Open and honest communication at all times is always most important. It can also help you in understanding what you are getting out of BDSM and what it means to you, which can support evolving your play in a more conscious way.”

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She recommends having these conversations earlier than and after periods. She says talking beforehand about what chances are you'll expertise afterwards, will assist your companion higher perceive the scenario and might be ready to assist, whereas reconnecting after the session is necessary too “as these check-ins can make sure your partner is feeling stable and where you can help them, if asked to support.”

Consent is essential

In addition to communication, White says companions can put together themselves beforehand by reconfirming their consent within the BDSM exercise and having a protected phrase deliberate beforehand that's revered when/whether it is used when one companion is feeling uncomfortable. “That being said, verbal and non-verbal communication and negotiations can continue throughout the session to ensure safety and pleasure for everyone involved,” she notes. “For instance, if you are exploring different levels of pain through spanking, you might agree on attuning to each other through a scale of 1-10 in terms of pain thresholds to better understand where the edge is. Or use your hand to help guide your partner in a non-verbal way to an area of your body you feel more comfortable exploring.”

White factors out there's by no means a improper time to talk up or shift the session. “Negotiating some of these additional verbal and non-verbal communications, along with a safe word, can increase safety and clarity for all involved,” she says.”

Talk about your after-care procedures

In addition, White says it’s necessary to be sure to have brazenly communicated your aftercare procedures to your companion(s) and that it's understood by all concerned, in addition to that you just perceive their aftercare routines.

“Aftercare is essential for all partners involved after intense BDSM sessions, as it helps you process the intense activity that just took place, as your hormones level back to your normal feelings,” she says. “Some people like to stay close to their partner(s) after activity, through quality time, such as cuddling, taking a bath, watching a movie together, or relaxing. On the other hand, some people prefer to be alone post-BDSM as it gives them space to recover.” 

By speaking together with your companion(s) what makes you're feeling one of the best after an intense session earlier than taking part, White says “a more positive experience is facilitated overall,” which is able to absolutely assist with the drop.

Before you go, take a look at the 69 intercourse positions we advocate to everybody: 

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